Some marketing genius presented this to a board and it was accepted?

Some parent sees this on the shelf and says, “Aha! There’s the answer!”

Really?

WOW!!!!!!

Comments?

A funny thing happened to me earlier today and I thought I would share it in the hopes that it brightens your day as much as it brightened mine.

As some of you may know, Hynix Semi-Conductor up here in Oregon is closing its doors. Whether or not this site will be picked up by another company is still an unanswered question. Even if it is, it is not known if the new owners will even want the machines that are here. It’s times like this when the truly entertaining people emerge.

In any event, I have been working on shutting down all of the Nikon machines that are here. Earlier today I was draining coolant from a couple of Body 12s. I was taking the screws out of a panel at the bottom of the Air Handler Unit to access a low point to drain coolant when I dropped one of the screws. It fell through a hole in the floor and went down into the sub-fab.

I thought that after 20 machines, only dropping one screw wasn’t a bad track record.

About 5 or 10 minutes later, this guy bursts into the service bay where I’m working and stares at me. I stare back at him. He starts yelling at me. “Is this your screw?!”

I looked at it. Then I looked at the pile of identical screws in the little plastic container I was using to keep them all together. “Looks like one of mine,” I replied. “Cool! Thanks, man.” I plucked it from his outstretched hand.

“It hit me in the top of the head!” he shouted, pointing at the top of his head.

“Really? Wow, I bet that stung.”

“You’re &@$ #@&% right it stung!!”

“Ah, well.” I paused for just moment and then said, “You’re welcome.”

“WELCOME?!!!!! Welcome for what?!”

“Well, let’s see,” I said. “You were obviously not wearing a hard-hat, in an area where hard-hat wearing is strictly required, when my screw fell thirty feet to hit you in the head. You are quite naturally grateful that I only dropped this tiny screw instead of, say, this 12-inch crescent wrench I’ve been working with, which weighs two or three pounds and would have killed your dumb ass.”

“Oh,” he said. “Well……we’re shut down now, so I didn’t think we really needed to worry about that anymore.”

I could contain myself no longer.

“Dude!” I exploded. “We’re tearing this whole building apart! I can’t think of a better time for crap to be falling out of the sky!”

It’s little moments such as this that make life truly worth living.

Hang on a sec – have you looked at the nutritional charts for this stuff? 200+ calories and over 34 7 grams of saturated fat? Holy Crap!

Anyway: Yes, the labels are turned to the camera in an unnatural way. Yes, the pawns smile an unnervingly robotic smile.

But Wait! The best part? It’s not even real coffee. It’s just a plastic simulation of iced coffee. From the Las Vegas Sun:

Two cups of McDonald’s iced coffee (BUY!) sit on the Fox 5 TV news desk, a punch-you-in-the-face product placement (BUY!) to chase down your morning news.

They’ve been on the Las Vegas station set for about two weeks, following the lead of a few TV stations across the country, and they’re still looking every bit as frosty and tantalizing (BUY!) as they were the first day you laid your eyes on them.

But wait, here’s the best part: They’re not real. Fake coffee on the real news, two plastic cups permanently filled with some kind of bogus drink. The anchors aren’t even supposed to acknowledge them, McDonald’s reps explain. That’s part of their genius, my little lambs! They get into your mind without you knowing it. So they just sit there, two logo-emblazoned plastic cups, percolating into the psyche. Made-to-scale models that weigh something like seven pounds each — refreshing, and bottom-line boosting!

Curious what’s in ‘em? From the McDonald’s website, these are the ingredients for a Vanilla Iced Coffee:

Premium Roast Coffee. Light Cream: Milk, cream, sodium phosphate, sodium polyphosphate, DATEM, sodium stearoyl lactylate, tetra sodium pyrophosphate, sodium hexametaphosphate, sodium citrate, carrageenan CONTAINS: MILK. Vanilla Syrup: Sugar, water, fructose, natural (plant source) and artificial flavor, caramel color (with sulfites), potassium sorbate (preservative), citric acid, malic acid, Ice.

And are you curious what those long, confusing words mean?

sodium stearoyl lactylate – a solid powder irritating to eyes and skin, and hazardous in case of inhalation.

tetra sodium pyrophosphate – when ingested it can cause nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.

sodium hexametaphosphate – the Material Safety Data Sheet warns “do not ingest.”  Synonym of Sodium Polyphosphate (above).

More details on the rest of the ingredients over at this website.

Yummy, Yum, Yum! I’m Lovin’ It!