Jan

For Sale

Father Dan on January 27th, 2003

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I received an email of things for sale, allegedly (HIGHLY doubtful) from real classified ads. A fun read none-the-less:

*FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.

*FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG.

*FREE PUPPIES… PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.

*GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

*FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT… BEEN OUT AWHILE… BETTER BE A REWARD.

*1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer

*SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE… ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

*COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED… ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

*NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.

*HUMMERS – LARGEST SELECTION EVER – “IF IT’S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!”

*GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb.

*NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED – USED ONCE.

*EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS – $175.

*JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

A*LZHEIMER’S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.

*OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS.

*FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.[Comment on this Post]

13 Total TweetBacks: (Tweet this post)

en+Shorten+your+shower+by+a+minute+or+two+and+you%27ll+save+up+to+150+gallons+per+month.' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+Shorten+your+shower+by+a+minute+or+two+and+you_27ll+save+up+to+150+gallons+per+month.&referer=');">
en: Shorten your shower by a minute or two and you'll save up to 150 gallons per month. 07/05/09 08:07am
en+%2Apumping+iron%2A+%28or+at+least+stainless+steel%29' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+_2Apumping+iron_2A+_28or+at+least+stainless+steel_29&referer=');">
en: *pumping iron* (or at least stainless steel) 07/05/09 08:07am
en+i+could+not+hate+ludacris+aand+p+wayne+or+whatever+his+name+is...+rap+might+be+the+dumbest+shit+ever..' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+i+could+not+hate+ludacris+aand+p+wayne+or+whatever+his+name+is...+rap+might+be+the+dumbest+shit+ever..&referer=');">
en: i could not hate ludacris aand p wayne or whatever his name is... rap might be the dumbest shit ever.. 07/05/09 08:07am
en+Hey+%40iamdiddy+Guys+and+Dolls+or+what+after%3F%3F%3F++%28%23WhiteParty+live+%26gt%3B+http%3A%2F%2Fustre.am%2F2rlu%29' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+Hey+_40iamdiddy+Guys+and+Dolls+or+what+after_3F_3F_3F++_28_23WhiteParty+live+_26gt_3B+http_3A_2F_2Fustre.am_2F2rlu_29&referer=');">
en: Hey @iamdiddy Guys and Dolls or what after??? (#WhiteParty live > http://ustre.am/2rlu) 07/05/09 08:07am
en+Eat+it+or+%2A%2A%2A+it+Year+One+here+http%3A%2F%2Ftiny.cc%2FR1Rpc' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+Eat+it+or+_2A_2A_2A+it+Year+One+here+http_3A_2F_2Ftiny.cc_2FR1Rpc&referer=');">
en: Eat it or *** it Year One here http://tiny.cc/R1Rpc 07/05/09 08:07am
en+%40ashley_isabelle+....and+the+text+helps+him+get+out+of+the+room+alive.+The+text+comes+from+an+unknown+caller...God%2C+or+a+best+mate....' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+_40ashley_isabelle+....and+the+text+helps+him+get+out+of+the+room+alive.+The+text+comes+from+an+unknown+caller...God_2C+or+a+best+mate....&referer=');">
en: @ashley_isabelle ....and the text helps him get out of the room alive. The text comes from an unknown caller...God, or a best mate.... 07/05/09 08:07am
en+OOC%3A+Dresden+it+is.++I%27ll+probably+only+watch+one+or+two+episodes+before+bed.++I+gotta+work+early+tomorrow.++Ew.' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+OOC_3A+Dresden+it+is.++I_27ll+probably+only+watch+one+or+two+episodes+before+bed.++I+gotta+work+early+tomorrow.++Ew.&referer=');">
en: OOC: Dresden it is. I'll probably only watch one or two episodes before bed. I gotta work early tomorrow. Ew. 07/05/09 08:07am
en+%40gibtown+Looks+like+the+girlfriend+%28or+whatever+she+was%29+killed+McNair%3B+offed+herself%2C+in+a+murder-suicide.++Terrible+thing+to+happen.' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+_40gibtown+Looks+like+the+girlfriend+_28or+whatever+she+was_29+killed+McNair_3B+offed+herself_2C+in+a+murder-suicide.++Terrible+thing+to+happen.&referer=');">
en: @gibtown Looks like the girlfriend (or whatever she was) killed McNair; offed herself, in a murder-suicide. Terrible thing to happen. 07/05/09 08:07am
en+Home+after+a+great+weekend%2C+or+close+to+it+at+least+%3A%29' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+Home+after+a+great+weekend_2C+or+close+to+it+at+least+_3A_29&referer=');">
en: Home after a great weekend, or close to it at least :) 07/05/09 08:07am
en+I+do+need+2+talk+2+him+though+its+important.Its+like+we+r+going+2+this+or+not+we+need+2+stop+talking+about+it+n+do+it+or+dont' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+I+do+need+2+talk+2+him+though+its+important.Its+like+we+r+going+2+this+or+not+we+need+2+stop+talking+about+it+n+do+it+or+dont&referer=');">
en: I do need 2 talk 2 him though its important.Its like we r going 2 this or not we need 2 stop talking about it n do it or dont 07/05/09 08:07am
en+%40TRiNiVANiLlA+I+best+not+be+the+next+victim.+Take+Rusty.+Or+Alyssa.+XD' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+_40TRiNiVANiLlA+I+best+not+be+the+next+victim.+Take+Rusty.+Or+Alyssa.+XD&referer=');">
en: @TRiNiVANiLlA I best not be the next victim. Take Rusty. Or Alyssa. XD 07/05/09 08:07am
en+please...if+you+or+anyone+you+know+has+Canum+ported+for+Magnifique...please+let+me+know%2C+as+that+theme+has+dropped+off+the+face+of+the+earth' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+please...if+you+or+anyone+you+know+has+Canum+ported+for+Magnifique...please+let+me+know_2C+as+that+theme+has+dropped+off+the+face+of+the+earth&referer=');">
en: please...if you or anyone you know has Canum ported for Magnifique...please let me know, as that theme has dropped off the face of the earth 07/05/09 08:07am
en+home+from+the+festivities...ready+to+relax....or+explode+-+whichever+comes+first.' onclick="pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/twitter.com/home?status=rt_+_twitter_lang_en_/twitter_lang_+home+from+the+festivities...ready+to+relax....or+explode+-+whichever+comes+first.&referer=');">
en: home from the festivities...ready to relax....or explode - whichever comes first. 07/05/09 08:07am

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