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Jack dies of hypothermia.
Jenny dies of AIDS and Momma dies of cancer.
Jesus dies but then lives again.
Malcolm was dead all along.
Norman had his dead mother in his basement.
Private Ryan lives.
Dorothy makes it back to Kansas.
ET makes it home.
Marty makes it back to 1985.
Clarence gets his wings.
James Bond gets the girl.
Rod Tidwell gets the money.
Ray Kinsella plays catch with his dad.
Roy Hobbs plays catch with his son.
Indiana Jones finds the Ark.
And the Holy Grail.
The Von Trapp family escapes to Switzerland.
Andy escapes Shawshank.
The Planet of the Apes is just Earth many years later.
Seabiscuit wins.
So does Daniel LaRusso.
Rockford loses to Racine in the World Series.
John Nash wins a Nobel Prize.
Charlie wins the chocolate factory.
Rocky wins. Then loses. Then wins. Then Apollo dies and Rocky goes to Russia and wins again. Then he becomes an arm wrestling truck driver. Or something like that.
Rudy gets to play.
So do the Bears.
Frodo destroys the ring.
They find Nemo.
They shoot Old Yeller.
Princess Fiona becomes an ogre.
The Beast becomes a human.
Darth Vader is Luke’s father.
Verbal Kint is Keyser Söze.
Neo is the one.
Soylent Green is people!
Rhett leaves Scarlett.
Rosebud was a sled.
The Cleveland Indians suck at first but then they win in the end… twice.
March 11th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
Kevin Cosner is actually the Russian
March 11th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Oh yea – Bruce Willis is dead
March 11th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Dummy – That one was on the list
March 12th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Father Dan,
Please attribute this blog entry to the original author:
http://number1happyst.blogspot.....ilers.html
Thank you.
April 6th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
“Princess Fiona becomes an ogre.” is incorrect. She always was an ogre. The spell made her beautiful during the day. At the end, the new spell is to make her who she really is . . . and ogre. That is why she did not transform from an ogre into a beauty . . . she simply stays an ogre.