Father Dan on December 11th, 2003
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Thanks to my favorite Kiwi couple Lynda and Kevin for sending this one across the pond.
Things To Do While Watching Return of the King
Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait… where the hell is Harry Potter?”
Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
After the movie, say “Lucas could have done it better.
When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
Ask people around you who they think is the next “Terminator” sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins.
In The Two Towers, when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout “RUN FOREST, RUN!”
Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: “That’s what I’m Tolkien about!”
During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, “Where’s Wally?” Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
Start an Orc sing-a-long.
Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light the straw on fire and tell people in the seats around you about a great battle that took place in your cup long ago.
Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
When Sam holds Frodo’s hand (or otherwise), start singing, “The Ambiguously Gay Duo!”
Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with “Mr. Anderson.”
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